[Q:] "How Do You Keep Your Cool?"
Dear Senator, We do not blame you in the slightest for cancelling your stop yesterday. We heard what happened at the Holiday Inn. If they are going to speak to you that way you should not give them the opportunety. We are behind you 110 percent! How do you keep your cool when liberals instigate you like that? You do a better job than I would! - Rebecca in StauntonRebecca, thank you for your question and your support. The media feeding-frenzy has indeed been hard to accept. It boggles the mind when they keep making mountains from one small molehill--even after my heart-felt apology. But to answer your question, knowing how to remain calm just comes with the territory. A U.S. Senator conducts himself properly in all situations.
PS. My daughter thinks you should quit chewing and said to show you
Tell your daughter thanks for the advice, but what some call an "addiction," I call tradition--a way of life. It's why I opposed those frivolous lawsuits against tobacco companies: Real Virginians believe in things like freedom, independence, and sovereign rights. Virginia's glorious history is one of rugged, against-the-grain, individualists--and some of us are still riding for that cause. The wad between my cheek and gum represents liberty. The spit soaring from my mouth symbolizes traditional Virginian values. I'll keep living these Jeffersonian Principles daily, as an example to every Virginian and American, young and old--mouth cancer be damned.
If you have a question for "Fightin Felix," send it to firstname.lastname@example.org.