Let the healing begin.
You say Mullet-a, I say Mohawk-a,
Macaca, Macaque... Mullet-a, Mohawk-a,
Let's call the whole thing off.
My fellow Virginians, I know I've stepped in some deep macaca, if you will. But I don't want it to appear that I take this controversy lightly--I want it to appear that I'm deeply, deeply concerned.
I hope that you will accept one of several explanations we've provided for my previous statements, and choose to move on. That's why I'm starting this blog: To help us heal. I want you all to get to know the real me.
Who is the real me? First, let's be clear about who I'm not. I'm not one of "them": i.e., I'm not a friend to Hollywood movie moguls. I'm not an inside-the-beltway Virginian. I'm not a member of the elite. (Pretty much any "them" you can think of, I am not one of them.)
In fact, I'm just like you. I care about real Virginians and real Americans (and yes, that includes the blacks, hindus, and hispanos.) As November approaches, I want every Virginian to feel like we're together in this struggle to mold America into what we know it should be. My goals are your goals. My concerns are your concerns. That's why we must band together in mutual support and common action--a confederacy, if you will--so that come November, you can return a real Virginian back to the Senate.
Your son of the south,
George Felix Allen
ps. McCain told a monkey joke out on the trail! I noticed that some folks winced, but I thought it was funny. (Why? Because I'm moving on, that's why.)