Friday, August 18, 2006

His Name is Macaca

My fellow Virginians,

Someone has just e-mailed me something that will, I believe, go a long way towards vindicating me. As you can see above, Macaca is a legitimate name. Ask David, Joana, or either Veronica if they would take offense if someone said, "Hey, you, Macaca!" or "This job calls for a Macaca!" Of course they wouldn't.

I can't even say for sure that I haven't met one of these Macacas. That could be the reason the word slipped out of my mouth on that fateful day. I would ask any Virginians who might still be upset to consider that possibility, along with the other explanations we have provided.

My team has left messages with David Macaca, and the women Macacas as well -- hopefully we can set up an appearance with one of them. (If there are any other Macacas out there, please get in touch!)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah yes, damage control. Love it. I knew all along I was using a real last name of people unrelated to the person I was talking to!

8/18/2006 2:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congrats, sir, on being the man who will NOT become president. Cheers.

8/18/2006 3:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brilliant! Absolute genius! His name is Macaca. I suppose we could also go around calling people we don't know "Whitey". I know there is one in Virginia. There maybe a few more around the country.

This job calls for a "Whitey".

8/18/2006 5:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow. you are an idiot. that is the worst attempt at damage control I've ever seen in my life. try to at least make it plausible, you racist moron.

8/18/2006 7:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Felix

"I am sorry that you misinterpreted my remarks the way you did" does not even meet the technical definition of an apology. Now I don't know if you are a racist. I didn't know what macaca meant when you said it and I don't think you did either. Hell, I still haven't figured it out. But in the words of Rob Cordrey "It sure as sh*t sounds racist". You should have guessed how it would look for you to single out possibly the only non-white person in your audience with your taunts, especially since he was holding a video camera. You may not be a racist, but you are certainly a moron, and I truely hope that a person of your moral caliber is not returned to the U.S. Senate.

whith love,
Nathan Longhofer

8/19/2006 2:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I'm sorry, that was supposed to read intellectual caliber, not moral. Same on me for not previewing.


8/19/2006 2:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

actually, I have a cousin named Whitey. But that's neither here not there.

8/21/2006 6:01 PM  
Blogger Sonic said...

The fact that my brother in law is called Alan B'astard has got me in trouble on many occasions!

8/21/2006 11:01 PM  
Blogger Julie O. said...

This proves the intolerance and hatred of libruls, so quick to brand conservatives racist for innocent and truthful remarks.

My husband's family comes from a part of the country with a lot of Faggots, Hymens and Schitzes. But you don't see people getting all bent out of shape when someone walks into a bar asking if there are any Faggots around. Because there are, and they're lovely, god-fearing people, just as I'm sure that Macaca boy is.

8/24/2006 12:40 AM  

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