Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Family Values

My fellow Virginians,

I can't say enough good things about Rudy Giuliani. He's a 2008 rival, but he knows I have to keep paying the bills back home while campaigning to be President of the South and North, so he helps me fundraise to hang on to my Senate seat. That's the kind of guy he is.

Rudy and I have so much in common. We both stand for moral, conservative, traditional values; we both believe in honesty, decency, and family; and we're both great story tellers! See me laughing in that picture? His ex-wife stories are hilarious! They top mine any day! (But I'm at a disadvantage since he's had one more wife than I have, and I can't tell some of my best ones since the divorce records are sealed.)

Thank goodness for my dear, current wife Susan and everything she does for the campaign. She is truly first lady material. Am I right? A real team player, my Susan. If you would like to book some time with her, click here.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Charlottesville said...

They're sealed because Allen used to use his first wife as a punching bag. He sent her to the emergnecy room and battered women's shelter on several occasions.

It's common knowledge in Charlottesville.

Why the media feels the need to maintain the code of silence on this asshole is beyond me.

9/09/2006 5:07 PM  
Anonymous vabelle said...

Felix,

Ignore Charlottesville; "common knowledge" is just that - common. Some people simply don't have the good taste to stay away from dirty stories. Just look at all the dirt still circulating about your friend Giuliani, years after the event(s). Or the ones about Clinton.

Though, thankfully, Giuliani's problems (or yours) don't reach broader audience, while Clinton's do. Thank goodness for ABC and Disney... I hope you and your family are watching the program tonight and
that the rather longish commercial in the middle of it will not be distracting.

9/10/2006 9:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Felix knows...
When liberals discret decency, when a democrat sees family values they are frightened by the thought of that very special relationship of faith and commitment. If democrats can't commit to their own families they can't commit to be citizens in office. Democrats are weak on faith, their weak on familiy, and their weak on common decency. Webb says hes for family but he wants Iraq in the hands of Islamic Jihadist against the U.S. He's for jihadists which spread an islamofascist form of mohammadism which ruines families and degrades women. Allen stands for women all over the world, not just Virginia. Allen has voted consistently with our national defense and the support of freedom all over the world and for women.

9/14/2006 1:02 AM  
Anonymous Vabelle said...

Ooooh, Anonymous,

The more I see of you the better I like you. My heart goes pitty-pat at the clarity of your vision and the straight talk you use to explain things to us.

You sound as if you know our Fightin' Felix personally. If so, I envy you with my whole soul; I haven't had the chance to meet the Senator myself. One day, maybe.

Do, please, stop being so anonymous; you sound like a wonderful person...

9/14/2006 6:35 PM  

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