Saturday, August 19, 2006

An American Hero



My fellow Virginians,

I continue to get a steady stream of Macaca-related emails. You should know that I'm searching my mind and soul to explain how my mouth said those syllables, at that moment, to that Indian boy. There is something else I'd like you to consider.

In the United States of America, monkeys have come to be known for their curiosity; inquisitiveness; persistance; daring; companionship; loyalty; and agility. These traits are admirable in any American--but they are vital to a good cameraman. I don't know about Europe or the Dark Continent, but in the good ol' USA, singling out a cameraman for his monkey-like traits ought to be considered high-praise.

No one, including me, will ever know for sure if my words were monkey-inspired--but if they were, perhaps SR should really say "Thank you," and we could just leave it at that.

In any case, I hope y'all will give some thought to our national hero, the American Simian. Think about that--and review the other reasonable explanations we've provided--and hopefully it will mend this rift that your misinterpretation has created.

Updated List of Reasonable Explanations (please choose one or more from this list):
1) Meant it as a compliment
2)
Macaca a Real Name
3) Just a Routine Cameraman Nickname Creation
4) Something to do with mohawk?
5) Mohawk + Caca = Macaca

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You forgot smart. A monkey is probably the smartest animal there is. Does President Bush get all bent out of shape when people call him a chimp?

8/20/2006 9:21 AM  
Blogger outofcontext said...

I hope you aren't suggesting that he will one day evolve into a fully functioning American citizen. In fact, I am a little disturbed by the evolution of your defense. The design of your original response was fundamentally intelligent. Stand strong.

8/20/2006 2:03 PM  
Blogger Mosquito said...

Your campaign manager has stated that he wants the macaque episode to stay in the news.

George...you need to do your part to make this happen....

Just say it again if you want it to stay in the news...energize that infamous base of yours....

8/23/2006 11:52 PM  
Blogger Julie O. said...

What better evidence of the power of George Allen's complex and clever mind than the fact that "macaca" meant all five of the explanations simultaneously at the time he said it.

Which makes this cafepress item even more insulting and stupid. (Blatant and shameless product plug).

8/24/2006 12:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why was Mel Gibson so vilified?

Indian boy? Last I heard he was born here! You probably meant American Boy, from your own hometown of Virgina.

After you are done downing your burgers and fries, 20 years from now, when you have a small heart attack, you might be gracious enough to accept any help from cardiologist Dr. Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, along with Dr. Joeseph Klein, or Dr. Samantha Walsh, and your health insurance agent Nancy Hsu.

8/24/2006 11:14 PM  

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